We had just finished a day of outdoor fun.  It was last summer, July in fact.  Double Drop Falls provided a great way to escape from the heat of a Sacramento Saturday.  Madelyn and I were upstairs watching something on the Disney channel, when we heard Karen.  She was calm, but clearly stunned.  One minute earlier, she was outside and it was dusk.  She was drying off the inflatable ride preparing to roll it up and allow the lawn to recover.  What is that you are thinking?  Why wasn't I doing that?  Get lost...

 

Our backyard is not very deep, maybe 40ft.  Our house exits to the patio.  In between the patio and the fence, is our lawn.  That is where Karen was working when she noticed a cat in her peripheral vision along the fence.  I don't think she looked directly at the cat.  At least not until her peripheral vision detected several cats - which would be unusual.  At some point her subconscious was curious and her head turned.  She saw three fluffy black cats.

 

The weird thing about these cats was their distinctive white stripes and long bushy tails that are characteristic of, well - er... skunks.  Oh my God! SKUNKS! 

 

The scientific classification for a skunk is:

 

Kingdom - Animalia

Phylum - Chordata

Class - Mammalia

Order - Carnivora

Suborder - Canifornia

Family - Mephitidae

Genera - There are 4, but these were striped skunks that are part of Mephitis

 

These critters have two glands that produce 15cc of a mixture of sulfur-containing chemicals.  Skunk spray is composed mainly of low molecular weight thiol compounds, namely (E)-2-butene-1-thiol, 3-methyl-1-butanethiol and (E)-2-butenyl thioacetate.  These compounds are detectable at concentrations of about 2 parts per million.  The odor of thiols is often strong and repulsive, particularly for those of low molecular weight. Thiols bind strongly to skin proteins, and are responsible for the intolerable, persistent odor produced after being sprayed by a skunk.

 

If you (or your dog Sparky) get sprayed, please don't listen to Uncle Larry's advice and place your butt in a tub of tomato juice...  It is the 21st century... Apply science...  Mix one quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide, one quarter cup of baking soda, and one teaspoon of liquid soap. Bathe in this solution and rinse with tap water.  The thiols, which are responsible for the odor, are not water soluble, even with soap, but the baking soda catalyzes the oxidative ability of the peroxide, which oxidizes the thiols into highly water-soluble sulfonates.

Be warned that there is no way to store this potion.  If you put the ingredients in a bottle, the whole thing will explode!

...shame on you for skipping that day in Chemistry class because of your hangover...

 

Now in case you don't have a picture in your mind, Karen is in the backyard, decommissioning an inflatable water toy, at dusk, less than 12ft from a fence line, that is the current path for three heretofore unseen - SKUNKS!  Muscles located next to the scent glands allow skunks to spray with high accuracy as far as 7 to 15 ft.  Karen doesn't realize it at this point, but she is in real danger of becoming the first woman in our household that will be forced to sleep naked outside until the neighbors can ante up some hydrogen peroxide and baking soda...

 

She manages to backpedal into the house and make her way upstairs, interrupting Madelyn and me by saying, "We have skunks in our backyard."  Madelyn and I immediately looked at each other and said, "Cool!  Let's check it out!"  We leaped from our positions, found a flashlight and dragged Karen (reluctantly) downstairs and out the door.  "Back there." Karen said, pointing to the fountain area.  "I saw three of them."  Madelyn and I looked carefully - nothing.  "Are you sure you saw skunks?"  I had to ask.  Karen gave me "the look" which - translated means, "You idiot!"  So, we looked some more. 

 

Suddenly, I saw something move on the other side of our fence.  I quickly drew the flashlight to the spot and found myself staring directly into the black eyes of a baby skunk.  It was like a shootout at the OK corral.  He stared at me, waiting to see if I would turn off the light and I... well, I had nothing.  After a few seconds, he came right under the fence and his two little brothers followed.  They headed directly for the birdseed under the Sequoia that over spilled from the feeder.

 

Madelyn and I watched in disbelief as these fear inspiring creatures invaded our property.  We watched the next evening, and the next, and the next.  I called the County's animal control department and they said that they would be able to deliver a trap within a week.  While we watched the skunks, we detected a pattern and noticed more of them.  At one point, I was able to video tape 7 skunks playing in our backyard all at once.  They would come in under the fence and walk along the concrete lawn barrier towards the birdseed.  From there, they would follow the edge of pavement over to the side gate and exit the property under the gate crossing the street to the wetland.

 

When the trapper (Don) arrived, he provided elementary "trapper" training.  "Here are the rules:  Set the trap only Sunday through Thursday.  Call me in the morning between 8 and 9am if you get one.  Do you understand that I will euthanize any skunk you catch?"

"Euthanize!  I should hope so.  What the hell else would you do with them?"  I asked.

"Well some people are sensitive about such things."  Don tactfully replied.

 

"Great, you can release the live ones in their backyard if it helps them sleep better at night."  I sarcastically exclaimed.  "Sunday through Thursday only eh?  I will have to show Karen how to do this since I will be travelling for a while."

 

"Does she know that I will euthanize the skunks?" Don asked.  I looked at him and said, "You can mark the checkbox that says you clearly informed the defenseless humans that the skunks would be killed upon capture!  I will even perform a tribal dance if it helps expedite this extinction.  By the way Don, what do I feed the skunks?"

"Peanut butter and jelly on a cracker will do."

I went inside to get Madelyn.  "You gonna help me set the trap Madelyn?" I asked her.

"Sure Daddy, what should I do?"

 

"Go to the kitchen and get some crackers, peanut butter and jelly” I instructed.  She began diligently collecting the ingredients for a skunk's last meal when she panic'd and cried, "Daddy, we have 3 different kinds of jelly in the 'fridgerator.  What flavor do the skunks like?"

 

"I really don't know Honey.  Let's put one of each flavor into the trap and let them show us what they prefer."  I reasoned.  And there we were.  Choices:  One cracker with Welch’s (squeezable) Grape Jelly, one with Mary Ellen Strawberry Jam and one with Safeway Raspberry Preserves.  All of these were carefully spooned onto square Low Sodium Saltines with a dollop of Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter (in case you were looking for a recipe.)

 

Madelyn then asked, “How will they know to come here when they get hungry?”  Good question Madelyn, let’s advertise.  I asked her to come up with some words for a sign.  This is what she crafted.

 

It worked – we caught one that evening, another one the next and the next.  Our neighbor Dave caught a couple too.  In the end, we trapped 9 skunks that were likely born under Dave’s shed the Spring. 

 

As it turns out, skunks follow “trails” and once they find food, they will return following the same path repeatedly.  This worked to our advantage because their preferred route into our backyard was by tunneling under the fence from the front yard.  This was the perfect place for the trap.

 

After 5 consecutive days without a catch, trapper Don came to gather the traps for other needs.  He was impressed with our success and humored by our advertising so he asked if he could keep the sign…

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